Most couples realize that things aren’t as blissful as they thought they would be after they get married. This sudden realization often comes, after the honeymoon period when compatibility issues begin to arise. Sometimes, even small issues that had often been ignored during the courtship period suddenly become a major cause of concern. Children and demanding jobs sometimes get in the way, and couples find it difficult to balance their time between their relationship and responsibilities. If home workout videos or spending some time together do not solve these difficulties, seeking the advice of a marriage therapist or a marriage counselor can go a long way in saving a marriage.
We will first identify some trigger points and mannerisms that signify that you may need some professional help.
• Lack of communication – Once communication has deteriorated it is often difficult to get a relationship back on track without the involvement of a third party.
• Negative talk – Anything that leaves your partner in a position that they feel judged, shamed, insecure or disregarded destroys a relationship. If negative talk or negative communication is not checked, it may escalate to emotional abuse or nonverbal communication.
• Fear when talking – When things get to a point that you get too frightened to bring up issues then its probably time to seek therapy. Couples who fear talking to each other will suppress issues concerning sex, money or even annoying habits, until that point when things blow out of proportion.
• Withholding affection as a form of punishment – When one partner decides to take on the role of a “Parent” or a “Punisher” this creates an imbalance in the relationship or marriage.
• When one partner turns into an antagonist – When you and your partner realize that it seems like you are playing on different teams then it is probably time that you seek some help.
• A significant shift is sex life – It is not unusual for the sex life of most couples to taper off a bit after they have been together for a while, however a significant change in the bedroom may signify that things are not right.
• Being too secretive – Each partner in the marriage has a right to their privacy but when you notice that the secrecy is beyond what can be considered normal, then it is time to seek some help.
• Living sperate lives – When couples behave more like roommates than a married couple then it is a major indication that something is amiss. Living separate lives leads to lack of communication, deep conversation and intimacy.
• Arguing over the same thing over and over again – Everyone has certain triggers that drive them crazy. Although these triggers may not be bothersome to a majority of people, they may become a nuisance to your partner and be a cause of repeated arguments. A counselor can quickly identify these triggers and come up with a lasting solution.
Importance of marriage therapy
A marriage therapist can quickly identify certain behavioral characteristics and patterns that trigger conflicts. They can then devise solutions to quash this conflicts in a way that will be amicable for both parties. If a couple is spending too much time on their busy schedules, the therapist can help them free up some time in order to focus on themselves.
Getting a mediator or a coach
A marriage therapist will act as a mediator between both parties and facilitate a channel through which the couple can communicate effectively. This is particularly helpful for a couple that is willing to work on their marriage but are unable to figure out how to do it.
Provide tools to improve communication
A marriage therapist will identify tools through which the couple can improve their communication and problem-solving skills. An example of a tool that marriage counselor may use is eliminating the bad habit where one party interrupts conversations or doesn’t let the other party finish what they are saying.
A marriage therapist will help a couple create a realistic picture of how their relationship should be. They will also help both partners identify their differences, weaknesses, and strengths.
Marriage therapy helps couples to stay accountable to each other. Therapists will often assign tasks, organize a couples workout or an exercise that will help create patterns that will strengthen accountability in a relationship.